How long before the wedding should RSVPs be due?

Three to four weeks before the wedding, so you have a week to chase late replies before giving final numbers to your venue or caterer.

What should you do if guests do not RSVP?

Send a friendly reminder a week before the deadline, then contact anyone still missing personally. After the deadline, it is fair to count them as not attending.

Is it rude to RSVP late?

It makes planning harder, because the couple has numbers to confirm. If you are going to be late, let the couple know when you will be able to answer.

Can a guest change their RSVP?

Before the deadline, yes: with an online RSVP, replying again from the same personal link updates the answer. After the deadline, guests should contact the couple directly.

Do you need RSVP cards with a digital invitation?

No. With a website-style digital wedding invitation, the RSVP form replaces the card. For guests who prefer paper, print a QR code that opens the same form.

Wedding RSVP·5 min read

Wedding RSVPs: The Complete Guide for Couples

Everything about wedding RSVPs: what RSVP means, when to set the deadline, what to ask guests, how to remind late replies and how to handle tricky answers.

By Aurelia Editorial Team · Wedding stationery & planning guides

Published 2 October 2026·Updated 3 October 2026

Place cards and a silk ribbon beside a phone showing a wedding RSVP form

Your RSVPs decide the final numbers for your caterer, the seating plan and the favours. This guide covers everything from the deadline to the awkward replies; for the practical steps of collecting them, see online RSVP and our guide to collecting wedding RSVPs online.

What does RSVP mean?

RSVP stands for “répondez s’il vous plaît”, French for “please reply”. On a wedding invitation it asks guests to tell you whether they are coming, by a given date.

When should wedding RSVPs be due?

Start with the actual date in your venue or catering agreement, rather than assuming every supplier needs numbers two weeks before. Subtract at least a week to follow up, and allow more time if accommodation, transport or seating arrangements must be finalised earlier. The dates below are an example, not a supplier rule.

Work backwards from the date your venue or caterer needs final numbers, usually around two weeks before the wedding. Set the RSVP deadline a week before that, which leaves time to chase late replies. For a complicated seating plan, add another week.

Wedding: Saturday 12 June 2027.
Final numbers to the venue: Friday 28 May.
RSVP deadline: Saturday 15 May.
Reminder to guests who have not replied: Saturday 8 May.

See our wedding invitation timeline for how this fits with save the dates and invitations.

What to ask on a wedding RSVP

Always ask

Whether they are attending.
The names of everyone replying, or the number in their party.

Ask if you need it

Dietary requirements and allergies, so your caterer can plan.
A song request for the dance floor.
A message to the two of you.

Leave out

Questions you will not act on. Every extra field makes the form longer and slows replies. Travel and accommodation questions are better answered on your website than asked on the RSVP.

RSVP wording

Formal: “The favour of a reply is requested by the fifteenth of May.”
Classic: “Kindly reply by 15 May 2027.”
Relaxed: “Let us know you’re coming by 15 May.”

More examples are in our wedding invitation wording guide.

Online RSVP or reply cards?

Online RSVPs are quicker for guests, arrive typed and in one list, and work as well for guests abroad as for those nearby. Reply cards suit a very traditional wedding or relatives who prefer paper; you can offer both by printing a QR code that opens the online form.

How to remind guests to RSVP

A week before the deadline, send a short, friendly message to the households that have not replied. Keep it light: most late replies are forgetfulness, not rudeness.

Reminder

Hi Sarah! Just a gentle nudge: could you let us know by Saturday if you can make it to the wedding? Here’s the link again: [your invitation link] Thank you! Amelia & James

After the deadline

Hi Sarah, we’re finalising the guest numbers on [date]. Could you let us know by [time and date] whether you can join us? If we haven’t heard by then, we’ll need to plan as though you can’t make it. We hope to celebrate with you! Amelia & James

Handling tricky replies

Guests who never reply

After the reminder, call or message them personally. If you still have no answer on the deadline, it is reasonable to count them as not attending and tell them so kindly.

Guests who add people

Setting the number of seats for each household prevents most of this. If it happens anyway, reply warmly but clearly: numbers are limited, and the invitation is for the people named.

Changes after the deadline

Plans change. Before the deadline, guests can usually update their own reply; afterwards, ask them to contact you directly, and decide case by case whether your venue can accommodate the change.

Plus-ones and children

Name exactly who is invited on the invitation and in your guest list. If you are not inviting children or plus-ones, say so once, warmly, rather than relying on guests to guess.

For guests: how to reply to a wedding invitation

Reply as soon as you know, and by the deadline at the latest. Reply only for the people named, mention any dietary requirements, and if your plans change, tell the couple straight away.

For more on invitations and guests, see our wedding invitation etiquette guide.

Questions about wedding RSVPs

How long before the wedding should RSVPs be due?: Three to four weeks before the wedding, so you have a week to chase late replies before giving final numbers to your venue or caterer.
What should you do if guests do not RSVP?: Send a friendly reminder a week before the deadline, then contact anyone still missing personally. After the deadline, it is fair to count them as not attending.
Is it rude to RSVP late?: It makes planning harder, because the couple has numbers to confirm. If you are going to be late, let the couple know when you will be able to answer.
Can a guest change their RSVP?: Before the deadline, yes: with an online RSVP, replying again from the same personal link updates the answer. After the deadline, guests should contact the couple directly.
Do you need RSVP cards with a digital invitation?: No. With a website-style digital wedding invitation, the RSVP form replaces the card. For guests who prefer paper, print a QR code that opens the same form.